If you’ve been there, we don’t need to tell you how painful sex (often known by its medical name, dyspareunia), affects your libido, mood and relationship. And, let’s face it, it’s not such a glamorous topic to talk about over coffee with your girlfriends (but if you ARE talking about it, go you!).
While we know it can be super frustrating and doesn't add any positivity into your life, there is help for you.
The medical term for painful intercourse is dyspareunia (dis-puh-ROO-ne-uh) — which is defined as persistent or recurrent genital pain that occurs just before, during or after intercourse. ~ Mayo Clinic
Put simply, it’s recurrent pain before, during and after sex that causes agitation or trouble between you and your sexual partner.
It affects 12–22% of young, menopausal or postmenopausal women.
You might be thinking, “Is it normal to have pain during intercourse?”. And the answer is both yes and no. The reasons a person might have dyspareunia symptoms can be as unique and varied as snowflakes.
Maybe you’re trying to have sex for the first time, post baby. Although you may be expecting a wonderful union of new found parental bliss (we can dream), you feel pain and discomfort instead. While this might be the only time we consider this kind of pain as “normal”, it really shouldn’t last for longer than a few months. If it does, it could be a sign of underlying issues.
Usually, the symptoms of dyspareunia are pretty obvious. But, the pain may occur in different ways and at various times. Dyspareunia can involve any of the following:
There are two types of dyspareunia, depending on where the pain is located – superficial and deep. And, while some of the physical causes of dyspareunia can be put down to a lack of lubrication, a skin infection, illness or surgery, the emotional causes might be to do with partner issues, stress and anxiety.
Deep dyspareunia symptoms cause deep pain and usually can show up at the first try of vaginal penetration, or (annoyingly) begin spontaneously after a pain-free and enjoyable sex life. And because our emotions are deeply intertwined with sexual activity they also might play a role in pain during sex.
If you’re wondering about what conditions and illnesses add to the cause of pain during sex with here are some of the ones closely linked with deep dyspareunia symptoms:
It can also occur due to surgeries or medical treatments such as:
Emotional and psychological factors can also impact pain and symptoms, including:
If you’re experiencing superficial or deep pain before, during or after sex you don’t have to put up with it. And no, it’s not all in your head. The road to recovery is possible and it’s different for everyone. So, chatting to your doctor or pelvic physiotherapist and starting a personalised treatment plan is best done sooner rather than later. The good news is you don’t need a referral for this!
We get it. It can feel embarrassing to talk openly about what’s going on for you. So, be gentle with yourself and find a professional you can trust. Don’t be afraid to seek a second or third (even fourth) opinion if you need to. With the right products, information and support, dyspareunia symptoms can be treated and your quality of life can improve.
Vaginal dryness and a lack of lubrication can cause pain and discomfort which can affect enjoying intimacy with your partner. It’s not something you have to close your eyes, grit your teeth and put up with (no siree). No two lubricants are alike so make sure you find a quality one which suits your body. Our lubricants are natural and nourishing, and can help make a painful situation smooth again.
If you’re experiencing deep dyspareunia symptoms and want to control the level of penetration during sex, we can’t recommend the Ohnut enough. Designed to fit around the base of the penetrating partner, it helps you to control how deep (or not) your partner goes. Knowing these boundaries allow you to be more in the flow while giving you the flexibility to get saucy and have fun in new positions once more.
It’s made with a soft squishy material and can stretch to accommodate all men and most toys. Ohnut often feels like an extension of your body, with a little hug.
We have just the right solution for you. Silicone dilators are designed to help your body learn to relax again. They can also help gently stretch the vaginal walls to make penetration easier and less painful. They can even be warmed for extra comfort – love!
Vaginal dilators can be used to retrain the pelvic floor and are sometimes also referred to as vaginal trainers. Known as desensitisation therapy they can be used as a tool to learn vaginal relaxation exercises that can decrease your pain - relaxing your pelvic floor and desensitising your vulvar and vaginal area.
Because our dilators feel like the real deal, they’re perfect for helping your body to feel safe again with touch around the vulvar or in the vaginal area. It really helps to use a product that feels like a human being and not a plastic toy. Helpful if your next partner isn’t made of plastic!